As with any Gym, there are certain exercises that we can do to improve our fitness. In the case of a Relationship Gym, such exercises don’t come in the form of push-ups and sit-ups, they are more mental exercises. They are questions that we can think about which perhaps challenge common beliefs. As with any exercise, the hardest part is the start. We are habitual creatures so we find it difficult to leave our comfort zone. So our advice is to take it slowly, try not to get defensive or take anything personally – no judgement – take some time to think about the exercise, give yourself and your mind the room it needs. As with any exercise, you will find that it gets easier with practice. The way to read these exercise is as follows:

1. This does not have to apply to me. Just like any gym, for example, an exercise that improves your biceps may not be what you’re looking for.

2. If you find the exercise ‘could’ apply to you, even better, see this as an opportunity to cement what you already have, it does not have to mean that you’re in trouble.

3. Remember, there are no absolutes. No couple is 100% compatible, just like how no gym member is in 100% perfect fitness. There is no such thing. All we are trying to do is improve the percentage. Therefore it’s ok to find that some things hit a nerve, this is wonderful, see this as an opportunity to look at things you may not have noticed before.

4. Results don’t happen overnight. Give it time. As soon as a nerve is hit, try to ask why? What thoughts, words or actions of yours or your partners are coming to mind? Write them down. These are the very thoughts to be discussed during your joint workout time with your partner.

5. Set a time with your partner to be your workout time. Ideally, this should be when you have the least distractions. During this workout, talk about the questions that came about. The key is to discuss these thoughts without judgement. Discussing them is a positive step; NOT discussing them is the reason why couples drift apart.

6. Always remember that you can ask us anything via our chat facility. It’s completely confidential and it’s free.